• If your athame has a SCSI interface…
• If your OBE’s begin with a netsplit…
• If your priest robes conceal a pocket protector…
• If you calculate the phases of the moon with Windows 7…
• If your altar has a keyboard…
• If drawing down a circle is a POST (power on self test)…
• If you call the Watch Towers on your cell-tell…
• If you do most of your correspondence by email and sign off with Blessed Be…
• If you don’t call it a ritual, you call it a Macro…
• If you end a circle with Ctl-Alt-Del…
• If you have ever attached ribbons to a May Pole using a staple gun…
• If you invite the God and Goddess to come online…
• If you keep a Disk of Shadows (with encrypted backups)…
• If you participate in online rituals more than you do FTF…
• If you refer to eclectic ritual as cross-platforming…
• If your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group…
• If your candles have batteries…
• If your cauldron is a crock-pot…
• If your deities include Murphy and Gates…
• If your drumming is done on a CD player (pre-recorded)…
• If your herbs are always mail-ordered (express, overnight)…
• If your idea of a great retreat has a Computer City, electricity, and a TV nearby…
• If your incense is by Glade…
• If your magic wand is a light pen…
• If your magical name, email address, and online name are all the same…
• If your magical writing is done in binary code or C++…
• If your pentacle is made of computer chips…
• If your technician compains about the wax and incense ash on your motherboard…
• If, instead of asking what tradition someone comes from, you ask what operating system they run…
• If your Yule ritual involves defragmentation…
• If your coven is spread over a 12,000 sq. mi. area…
• If your Book of Shadows has a 6-digit version number…
• If you refer to deities using 3-letter acronyms (ODN, LKI, THR)…
• If you do cord magick with ethernet…
• If you ritually down your server for Samhain…
• If your altar cloth is a mouse pad…
• If, when your quarter candles burn out, the UPS backup system kicks in…
• If erecting the temple entails formatting more than 4 disks…
• If casteing the circle changes an (int) to a (float)…
• If your Star Trek screen-saver signals when your meditation period is over…
• If your Beltane ritual includes more than one news group…
• If passing the cakes and ale entails using a /me command…
• If your search for truth involves regular expressions…
• If your familiar is a computer mouse…
• If you draw down the moon using a light-pen…
• If your cone of power has a surge suppressor…
• If your tarot cards multi-task…
• If your daemons collect news for you…
• If your crystal ball has a horizontal-hold control…
• If you refer to solitary practice as a stand alone…
• If you tap into the collective unconscious using IE8…
• If your favorite deity has a homepage…
• If the address of your covenstead begins with http://…
• and finally, if your circle is a token ring…

Well, you just might be a TechnoPagan!