monster truck pagan

Can grow their own food, build their own house, sew their own clothes, homeschool their children and brew their own organic hooch.
Are looking forward to the bleak, post-apocalyptic world postulated by the environmentalists as they can't wait to run amok through the country, worshipping ancient gods, blowing up strip malls and rutting on the divider line of every interstate.

Resourceful, clever and very well versed in the U. S. Constitution. Eats meat with visible twitches of pleasure. Is aware that primitive religions have nothing to do with crystals, Atlantis or unicorns.
You may be a monster-truck pagan if your anointing oil is 30 weight.
You may be a monster truck pagan if cakes & wine means tailgate party.
You may be a monster truck pagan if Autumn is the Burning Time.